New Moon

Hey avid readers! So today I am reviewing Stephenie Meyer's second book, New Moon. For this review I am going to do the same thing I did with the Ally Carter reviews, meaning I am only going to list new characters. Here we go :)

Characters: Jacob Black: Bella's childhood friend/changes into a werewolf/is in love with Bella
Victoria: is hunting Bella after Edward killed James/cannot get to Bella because she is being guarded by werewolves/sent Laurent ahead of her to do her dirty work
Sam, Embry, Quil, Jared, and Paul: all members of the wolf pack in La Push/ live to kill vampires/cannot kill Victoria even though she is attacking hikers
The Volturi: the secret police men of the vampire world/work to keep vampires a secret/have a small army of vampires who all have extraordinary powers
*Can we just make a note of how sad my descriptions are? We will go back to this in a moment*

The Plot: Bella Swan is still recovering from the vampire attack that almost claimed her life at the end of last year. Now more than ever, she realizes just how much she needs Edward around. Too bad that Edward doesn't seem to feel the same way. Edward leaves Forks after telling Bella he doesn't care about her and he doesn't want to be a part of her life anymore. The news completely destroys her. Sinking into a four month depression, Bella cuts herself off from all aspects of life and only reemerges with the help of childhood friend Jacob Black. But when Jacob says he can't be friends with Bella any longer, she is determined to not lose him too. But with danger lurking around every corner, and a secret as old as the Cullens itself, will Bella be able to handle the news and move on from Edward, or will his memory continue to haunt her forever?

What I liked: Jacob Black. That is pretty much it. But Jacob was just so great. He was a person who was honestly there for Bella even when she didn't deserve him (which was the entire book). He has a developed sense of right and wrong and he was willing to put up with all of Bella's crap because he cared about her. Jacob is the one that Bella should have chosen. He is human and he represents the normal life that she could have had if she had left things as they were. But no. More on that in a moment. But Jacob was one of the truest characters in the book, one of the few that wasn't one dimensional and my personal favorite.

What I didn't like: This book is a disaster. Lets start from Stephenie Meyer's end before we actually get into this ridiculous plot. For a New York Times Bestseller, New Moon has the most atrocious writing I have ever seen. Here are the most common phrases in New Moon: I bit my lip, he grimaced, ugh, oh, arg, jeez, he glittered and more ridiculous phrases. This horrendous writing adds to the poor novel, making it impossible to take seriously. A page in New Moon wouldn't be complete without Bella biting her lip or saying ugh. Or falling. Seriously, Bella is such a caricature it makes my mad. So lets just take a break from the terrible writing and focus on Bella, the worst heroine in existence. So her boyfriend leaves and for four months Bella becomes completely dead. She has no personality, (well I would argue she didn't have one to start with but whatever) she just mopes around and does homework. She avoids everything having to do with Edward. GET A FREAKING GRIP. Gahhhh (another Stephenie Meyer word). Bella cannot get over herself and see past her patheticness to get a grip. She doesn't see how she is hurting Charlie, her friends and herself. For someone who is described repeatedly as a "remarkably unselfish person" all I see is layer upon layer of selfishness. She uses Jacob and when Edward comes back, "its a huge party cause like my sparkly hot boyfriend is back". Awesome. But honestly, I would expect nothing less of a girl who has no interests. She likes to cook and clean so she is pretty much a maid in her house with no life. But back to New Moon specifically. This book was extraordinarily dull. Nothing happened until the last five chapters but by then I was so bored it seemed rather anti-climatic. The dynamic between the wolves and the Cullens had the potential to be interesting but was instead dumb. So the La Push wolves don't like vampires because they kill humans: I agree. But the La Push wolves don't like the Cullens because why? They don't kill people. I am confused. Just these little details bug me. Also, why is every female in this story just a glorified housemaid. Esme is so flat and dull it's saddening, and Emily (the girl Sam imprinted on) is only shown cooking. And Alice likes clothes and Rosalie likes being pretty. DO NONE OF THE FEMALE CHARACTERS HAVE A HOBBY OR A LIFE? Nope. So this book drove me nuts. Lastly, if a guy as imperfect as Edward leaves you with no explanation, completely hurting you, you don't take him back in an instant. You just don't.

Overall: Blahtastic. 2 out of 10. Poor writing, poor plot and poor characters make this book an all around snooze. The only bright light? Jacob Black, Bella's personal sun and while I was reading New Moon, Jacob was my sun too.